by Rose Curtis
AWBW Facilitator
Phoenix, AZ
Through my inner child work I have learned that my inner child is pretty sassy! I am so grateful she has this characteristic and strengthens me with it every day!
Expressing myself creatively has helped me to love and heal my inner child.
This is huge, especially considering my past experiences.
I have seen and experienced domestic violence from every side. From being a hotline phone counselor to training sheriffs on domestic violence, to being an advocate, sitting in family court before the judge, and listening to the perpetrator. Prior to my advocacy work, I remember hiding in a parking lot from my then husband, and explaining to my boss that my black eye was caused by a bug bite.
My earliest memory is from when I was three-years-old and I stood paralyzed in fear watching my mom being abused by my stepfather. This is an image that rarely leaves my mind, but I often forget how this affects me and likely all of my intimate relationships. I rarely talk about this to anybody except within the circles of AWBW art workshops. There I gain the strength to share my experience, knowing I won’t be shamed.
Within these groups, as I am creating art, it always surprises me how deep into my soul art seeps,allowing a safe space to examine my past. If I just talk about it, my experience means nothing to me, I can’t even bring up any imagery or feelings. When I just talk about it, I stay in my head. But when I create art about it, I really get in touch with how I currently feel and felt about what happened. It’s then that I can begin to let out the hurt so that it no longer has a hold over me. I can go back to different events in my memory and comfort myself. Through art, I begin to see myself as the resilient being that I am. That’s the beauty of art. It reminds us where we’ve been, how much we survived and the hope that surrounds us! It reminds us of how strong we are, and that no matter what we went through, we survived. And we can grant ourselves that grace to know that we didn’t cause it, it wasn’t our fault, and we couldn’t have fixed it!
Often, survivors worry about what will happen if something painful comes up and they can’t handle it. In my experience, our brain and body are there to support our healing. This knowledge gives me confidence that I can handle whatever comes up, even though it might not feel like it at that moment, but we do find the strength to deal with whatever comes up. It is often helpful to be especially tender to ourselves when something big comes up. Planning out extra caretaking activities for ourselves: like listening to music that makes us happy, or journaling about what we are experiencing often helps. I have found that spending time with furry friends and being out in nature helps a lot. For me, trees and being in a forest or a wooded area is especially helpful, along with being near any kind of water; lakes, rivers, streams, especially the ocean. Walking on the beach brings me so much peace!
If you are planning to facilitate an art group with the potential of bringing up big issues for people, it can be helpful to give participants information about the workshop ahead of time. The same goes for you, if you are planning on facilitating or participating in an art activity that may bring up personal things for you, it can be great to do the art activity on your own first to address what may arise in advance. And plan some personal caretaking time!
I love to write art workshops, often writing them on issues I want to personally work through so that I can explore those hidden hurts and begin to heal them. Of course I’m glad to share them and see if the workshop resonates or impacts other survivors as it did me. I recently wrote a workshop called Loving Your Inner Child, and in this workshop, participants are welcomed to go back to a time in childhood, or later in their life, when their inner child needed an adult to protect them. Within the workshop, participants can go back to an event or memory and have the opportunity to find out what they needed and tell their inner child exactly what they needed to hear.
This workshop brought up some very deep hurts for me and the beautiful part about it was that I was able to ask my injured inner child what she needed. I found out in that moment of her trauma what she needed to hear from me. I was able to draw in my art exactly what she needed and give her the profound statements she needed to hear. I was also able to send her a fluffy pink llama to ride away on. And let me tell you, she was very pleased.
It is so powerful to visualize yourself as an adult going back and reaching out to your inner child, letting them know you are here today, now and forever, to protect, love, and cherish them. Checking in on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis is also important. I’ve found that returning to and viewing the art I created, along with a photograph of myself as a child, on a regular basis is very important. This behavior reassures my inner child that I really am here for her. It also brings me confidence, knowing that I can figure out what I need and take care of myself as an adult.
It’s like we are building an inner sanctuary for ourselves and our inner children in our hearts. Where we can offer our inner child a safe place, forgiving ourselves and sharing lots of love with them. It’s in those moments the layers of hurt are melted and replaced with self-love.
I want to encourage everybody, no matter what stage of healing you’re in, or what trauma you want to heal from, to try AWBW art workshops. They’re amazing. It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself an artist or a non-artist … if you’re willing to try the process, it can support your healing, that I can promise you!
It might not happen all at once, but over time as you continue to creatively explore and process different life experiences. The healing can continue; the art you create can help release pain, fear and grief and support you to lovingly embrace your inner child.
Sending a big shout out to my sassy inner child!
by Rose Curtis
AWBW Facilitator
Phoenix, AZ
Download the accompanying worksheet, Loving Your Inner Child Journaling Handout!
Download Journaling Prompts Worksheet
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A Window Between Worlds (AWBW) supports hundreds of direct service organizations across the country to incorporate creative expression into their work with trauma survivors. With this blog we uplift the voices of our art workshop facilitators and participants. We invite you to take in this perspective, notice what resonates and explore how it may fit into your life.