by Sarah King
Windows Facilitator
Miramar, Florida
On a Wednesday evening about ten years into my career in nonprofit, I was at the youth group meeting where I volunteered. (Because of course I volunteered on top of working for a youth-service organization by day).
I sat on the floor in a circle with a small group of teen girls while we discussed the lesson. One girl asked to share something and I distinctly remember having the thought pop into my mind, “Ugh, I hope she doesn’t share something heavy.”
“WHAAAAAA? What was that???” I had a responsibility to these girls to listen and support them, and in that moment I had the stark realization that I did not care like I should.
After the meeting ended that night, I found the youth minister and sheepishly asked for a break. He was gracious and understanding. He likely already suspected I needed a break. See, he knew that just two months earlier one of the teen girls I had met in the youth group and mentored for four years passed away from cancer. What he didn’t know was that I had also lost four close family members in recent years.
At this point not only was I heartbroken, but my “cup” that I was supposed to be pouring from lay broken in pieces too.
If I wanted to keep serving others in my career, I had to figure out another approach. I could ask for a break from volunteering, but I also worked in this sector. My former approach of putting myself last, ignoring my needs, and burning out was not working anymore. If I wanted to stay in this field, I had to find a new way to serve and to be.
Searching for Sustainable Service
Out of necessity, this point in time began my journey of recovery from what I would now call a mix of compassion fatigue, secondary traumatic stress, and burnout. To do this, I had to reconnect with myself, the person underneath the many “hats” I was wearing, the ways I was showing up for and serving others.
One tool I found helpful for reconnecting with myself was art and creativity. From hand-embellishing baby clothing to creating mixed-media art journals, creating with my hands was a way to let my mind relax and begin to sort through the many feelings I had been pushing aside. At times, tears would start flowing down my face as I sewed. I couldn’t even place which loss they were for, but they needed to be expressed. Creating art became a safe space and time to release emotions.
I recall flipping through magazines to create a collage and being surprised at the intense phrases I was drawn to. While cutting them out and adding to the piece of art, I realized I was feeling more anger and sharp pain than I’d previously acknowledged. Choosing words on the page allowed me to see and access a deeper level of honest feelings. One stitch and brush stroke at a time, I started reconnecting with myself and welcoming healing in uncovered places.
It took me a few years to find and reconnect with the person underneath the hats I was wearing. As you likely know, when our purpose and calling is supporting others, it’s easy to forget we also need to care for ourselves. Thankfully, through art and creativity, other avenues of self-expression and embodiment, along with counseling, accountability, and support, I discovered a much more sustainable rhythm to carry out my passion for service. I continued to work for another eight years in non-profit organizations, and in a supportive role since then, in a much more well-rounded manner.
Healing Arts for Helpers
It is my privilege now to share the gift of self-discovery found through art and creativity, what I have since learned is called “healing arts,” with other caregivers and helping professionals who may also be tempted to push their own needs aside.
In a monthly “Hats Off for Helpers” Healing Arts program, I invite those who serve others to take their hats off and reconnect with themselves through participating in creative expression and reflection.
In December’s virtual workshop, I included the activity “Take a Break Self-Regulate” from our A Window Between Worlds curriculum. We took time to journal through the suggested questions in the workshop to consider our feelings towards taking breaks, which for many of us is complicated. Then, to prepare for the art piece, we used the images on the “50 Ways to Take a Break” resource to brainstorm ideas for breaks to renew our energy.
As we considered the idea of taking breaks to self-regulate, one participant shared that most of the time, she feels guilty taking breaks. This resonated with many in the group. Some took time to journal about why that may be and affirm that they are also worthy of time to self-regulate. Someone else shared they needed this reminder to take breaks. They remembered that they serve with even more enthusiasm and give better quality care after taking a break.
Using the worksheet adaptation idea in the curriculum, we made circular spinners on paper. One circle had time increments and on the other, we wrote or drew the break ideas we chose for ourselves. We cut an arrow out of paper and attached it using a paperclip and tape to be able to spin our break wheels. It was neat to see how the group members chose a variety of ways to take a break that were personal to them.
At the end of the session, a first-time participant who serves as a mental health professional went on to share, “This is new, and interesting, to spend time thinking about me rather than my clients.” We commended her on her bravery to take a break from her service to try out healing arts.
We each care for and serve others in some way. If you are sensing that in doing so, you may not be attuned to your own needs and feelings, I invite you to explore art as a tool for reconnecting with yourself. Time spent in self-expression and care will fuel your ability to continue caring well for others and show up fully.
Not sure where to start? Click to view the self-guided worksheet in English and Spanish for the “Take a Break – Self Regulate” activity and give it a try today.
by Sarah King
Windows Facilitator
Miramar, Florida
Download the accompanying Take a Break Self Regulate art activity:
Want to bring healing art programming to your workplace or community?