by Tony Scruggs
Empathy Coach (NVC)
Windows Facilitator
Los Angeles, California
Are you able to remember a time when mortality seemed like a myth? When the thought of getting hurt was secondary to the JOY of being involved in a spectacular, spontaneous adventure? If you resonate with this (& I want to acknowledge those who don’t with warmth, gentleness, and love), I invite you to feel the vibrant-aliveness of invincibility pulsating through your veins, kind of like a nervous-system reset. Take a minute to let those joyful feelings wash over you.
Ready? Okay!
These connections to our strengths are important because “energy flows where our focus goes”
That feeling is what I call “Innocent Invincibility,” and I consider it one of my strengths because it allows me to take action when I’m scared and turn dreams into reality when I’m uncertain. As many teenagers, without significant toxic-stress, early encounters with mortality, or a fully developed prefrontal wizard-brain do, I perceived myself as invincible and created foundational reinforcers that solidified a level of confidence that could keep me a-walking when fear came a-knocking.
What strength do you have that you want to connect with? These connections to our strengths are important because “energy flows where our focus goes,” and if we focus on what doesn’t work our brain will bring that into existence (& vice versa).
I am an american of african-ancestry, who grew up on this side of civil-rights; I went to fancy schmancy schools, where I flowed off the field & on the field. And my pre civil-rights, college grad parents gave me an empowering identity (SiMBa) before the world could give me a toxic one.
I was invited to do things, I was chosen to participate in things, and I was encouraged to express whatever I was feeling (pain or joy). Even though I was part of a HUGE GROUP (ethnicity/shade of brown) that was constantly kicked in the butt, I was still lucky (& young enough) to be buffered by all the other groups (gender, academics, athletics), where I was constantly patted on the back.
And because my ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) were low, my parents loving encouragement was high, & the world had yet to land a punch, if you take that innocence and combine it with the previously mentioned invincibility you get quite the amazing wonder-twins (wait for it…ACTIVATE).
Recently the mother of a dear friend left her earth-suit (ie. passed away). She, like my mom (rest in power), was someone who saw “magic” in me. When you are 13 and vulnerable to intergenerational wounds that you don’t even know exist, that kind of person is transformative. She very much helped nurture my “Innocent Invincibility.”
So in this life-transition situation, where some people are paralyzed with grief, I see this as an excellent time to honor my friend’s mom, support my friend’s pain, and tap into a little “Innocent Invincibility.” Maybe that way I can help keep everyone a-walking as fear of life, and post-life, comes a-knocking (again).
How about you? Did you identify a strength that you’d like to tap into more often? Is there someone or something in your life right now that needs a strength like yours? Well, I invite you to name it, frame it, reclaim & proclaim it.
by Tony Scruggs
Empathy Coach (NVC)
Windows Facilitator
Los Angeles, California
How can you use a strength within yourself to deepen your connection with others?
Explore our Windows of Connection series
Want to bring healing art programming to your community?
Attend a Training
A Window Between Worlds (AWBW) supports hundreds of direct service organizations across the country to incorporate creative expression into their work with trauma survivors. With this blog we uplift the voices of our art workshop facilitators and participants. We invite you to take in this perspective, notice what resonates and explore how it may fit into your life.